Pascal Nunes

Today Sidd was here(For those who do not know Sidd, Sidd is my childhood friend, and probably the person who knows me best). Lately he was busy giving GRE so we had not met for a very long time. We talked a lot and about a lot of things. Sidd was trying to convince me that I should have some goal in life. Even I know that I should, but the question is what? I asked the same thing to Sidd. I have been getting bored these days, doing nothing at all. Sidd's suggestion was that I try something new every day. I feel that is not a bad idea. It would a real challenge to find something new to do every day.

I am changing the description of my blog from "Just a programmer" to "An Experimenter" cause that is what I will be doing now. Trying out new things. Searching for something that makes life feel more worth living. Whenever I perform an experiment I will write about it here.

The other complain that Sidd had was that I am very lazy and that I have become a recluse. Now this is not something I want to live with. I do spend a lot of time with my PC or sleeping. I will see to it that this changes "soon". Sidd pointed out that I had given up a few things, either as "too trival" or "unachievable". At the base of all this was the philosophy that "Don't want anything in life". Cause wants or lust is the cause of all unhappiness. If you don't want, you don't expect. If you don't expect, you are not disappointed. This may be a means to remain happy; but if you don't want, you often don't work. It doesn't hurt you when you don't achieve, but the fact is that you achieve nothing. And I have been in this state of achieveing nothing for a long time. Even if you do achieve something, you are not enthralled by your success 'cause you didn't really work for it. So this mean of remaining happy fails to give you long term happiness. From now on I would rather work and bet my happiness on my hard-work than say that life does not matter and be happy with doing nothing. Yes failure hurts, and I have been protecting myself from this hurt for too long. Getting hurt sometimes is needed enjoy your successes.

I woke up at 5:50am today and was in church at 6:00am for mass. Now you will have to agree that I am trying hard to beat both sleeping and laziness. Hope I can keep this up. I myself couldn't believe that I was working that fast today.

Thanks Sidd for spending all those hours to help me out.